


Make a list and I'll check it twice

by scoob2222



Category: Die Hard (Movies)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13510149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoob2222/pseuds/scoob2222
Summary: John is being a jerk and doesn't even realize it.  That's the story of his life.  Except this time when he figures it out he really figures it out. For smallfandoms.  The prompt was happy holidays.





	Make a list and I'll check it twice

John McLane doesn’t really do holidays…for obvious reasons. It’s not that he thinks holidays are cursed for him, or anything crazy like that. In fact, given his age he’d had dozens and dozens, or perfectly fine holidays compared to just a few bad ones.

However, everyone in America knew that the bad ones were unbelievably bad. They were cover of Time magazine, reports that went on for weeks, and medals ceremonies he didn’t want to go to bad.

To say nothing of the broken bones, concussions, and the bum shoulder that wouldn’t work right for the rest of his life.

So, holidays weren’t his favorite days.

Last Christmas was kind of perfect because he went to work, and then had dinner with Matt and watched the game and drank beer all night.

Of course, that was back when Matt was just sleeping in his guest room…when they were just buddies. 

He figured this Christmas when Matt was his boyfriend, and man did his old ass hate that word, he would want something more special.

He should have known better. Matt was perfectly fine with hanging out and drinking beer for Christmas. 

Just one of the reasons why Matt was the best thing that ever happened to him.

John should know better than the expect things to be that easy. Two weeks before Christmas he got a call from Lucy.

“Hi sweetheart,” he said when he answered the phone. He was proud he finally got this called id thing down.

“Daddy,” she said, as she only did when she wanted something, “good news.”

He frowned, “You’re not engaged, are you?”

“No, Dad, you can relax. I’m not serious with Mike. I know you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him,” John argued, “I just don’t want you to marry him.”

“I’m not marrying anyone anytime soon. Now, if you could stop grilling me about my relationship, I could tell you the good news. Jack and I are coming for Christmas.”

This was very surprising news to John. He saw Lucy a lot more since the fire sale two years ago, and he talked to Jack at least a couple of times a month, but Christmas. Christmas was a holiday they   
spent with their Mother.

“What about your Mom? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. She’s going on a cruise with Andrew. He…he asked her to marry him.”

John waited for the inevitable tug of pain at hearing that. He was surprised to not feel much at all. He thought of all the years he tried to keep his marriage together. He was glad he wasn’t stuck on   
doing that again. He was happy for Holly, he realized, because he was happy himself.

“That good for her, Lucy.”

“Dad.”

“I’m fine,” he told her, “honestly. I’m happy for your Mom, and I’m happy to have my children for Christmas.”

“I’m glad, because Jack already booked his ticket. He’s coming in on the 23rd and we figured we’d stay with you for a couple of days. I know Matt has one of our old bedrooms, so I’ll bring my air   
mattress for Jack.”

Right…Jack and Lucy didn’t know about the fact that Matt hadn’t been living in the spare room for eight months, and that one of their old bedrooms was now his computer fortress, as Matt called it.

“Of course,” he said, “it’ll be great.”

“Tell Matt to order dinner. I know he feeds you all the time, but he doesn’t have to feed all of us.”

“Right,” he nodded to himself, as if she could see him, “Dinner…sure.”

“See you in two weeks Dad, love you,” she said before she hung up.

“Right.”

&&&&&&

Matt seemed surprisingly excited to hear that Lucy and Jack were coming for Christmas.

“I am not ordering Christmas dinner.”

“We did it last year.”

“Yeah, for the two of us, when all you wanted was that stupid game and a beer.”

“Football is not stupid. It’s America’s game, and you had beer too.”

He found himself annoyed to think Matt hadn’t enjoyed last holiday the way he had.

“Yeah, it was great, but your children are coming. I’ll make a turkey and pies, and we’ll have wine. I need to make a nice impression.”

He didn’t mean to tense up, but he knew he did. He was usually good at masking his thoughts, but he knew discomfort was written all over his face.

“Right,” Matt nodded, “they don’t know.”

“I didn’t want to tell them over the phone,” he said, already hearing his excuses, “and I don’t see Lucy that much, and Jack for more than a year.”

“It’s fine,” Matt said, “I’ll just sleep in the spare room, and we won’t say anything. It’s not a big deal.”

John watched Matt shrug, “It’s not a big deal.”

For a moment John couldn’t breathe. He realized it was a big deal; it was a very, very big deal. He hadn’t told his kids, or his coworkers or anyone. He hadn’t told them because it was none of anyone’s   
business but his. 

Of course, he forgot that his business was Matt’s business now. Matt was his whole life now. He was the reason he wasn’t bitter or sad or…alone. He put up with John forgetting dates, and working too   
late, and not calling on time. He put up with it when John didn’t want to talk. He massaged John’s shoulder when it hurt so bad he couldn’t move it. 

John wasn’t perfect. He was far, far from even decent some days, but he wasn’t a complete and total asshole.

“I’m going to tell them,” John said, “when they get here.”

“John, you really don’t have to,” Matt started, but John walked over and put his hand over his mouth.

“Yes, I do. I should have done it months ago. After I tell them, I’ll tell the squad.”

Matt’s eyes widened, mouth still covered by John’s hand.

“I’m an asshole,” John said, because he has been, and he didn’t even realize, “but I swear I didn’t realize. You have to tell me when I’m an asshole, kid.” He took his hand away.

“You’re always an asshole,” Matt said, “but this was quite a blind spot even for you.”

“I know,” he said, because he really did know now. He could see the pain behind Matt’s eyes, “I didn’t even realize I was hiding you. I just rationalized it because it scared me.”

“Coming out?” Matt asked.

“It’s not really something I have a lot of history with. I mean I don’t even like men, kid.”

“You like me.”

“That’s the extent of it. I love…. well I loved Holly for half my life. Then I loved you, and I intend to keep doing that. I didn’t really think of that as…needing to come out. I didn’t realize how important   
it was…for you…. for me.”

“So, you aren’t scared anymore?” Matt asked.

“The only thing I’m scared of is losing you…or hurting you. I’ll fix it, kid. Tell me if there’s anything else you want me to do. I’ll do it.”

Matt smiled, “Tell the important people, John. Just that. I don’t need a banner or a parade or anything. Just don’t hide me.”

“Never again, kid, I promise. And the next time I’m an asshole, you tell me right away. You’re smarter than me,” he said, “so that’s your job.”

“I promise, McLane. I will tell you every time you’re an asshole from now on. I’ll just start a list.”

“Very funny.”

“I was being serious. Hey, it’s Christmas so I’ll make it a naughty or nice list.”

John might go back to hating holidays if this continued.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't get to write as much as I used to, but I love writing for this pairing. Hope you all enjoy!


End file.
